I Remember
by No Line on the Horizon
Summary: Sometimes, as hard as we try to delete certain memories from our minds, certain things may continue to last. These memories can define our actions, our ideas, and even our presence of mind. But sometimes, there are memories that define who we are. Events taking place after "Things Change" BBT.


Hello there to all the teen titan fans! So this is my first attempt at a story revolving around teen titans folklore, as from you can tell from my profile, I've written almost solely for Sonic the Hedgehog over the past years.

I've recently gotten into teen titan fics, mainly those centered around Beast Boy and Terra, as well as Beast Boy and Raven (I like both of them, so I'm the neutral one in the wars between the pairs).

I got this idea for a story re-watching the last episode of the series, wondering where it would have gone next since they left so many open plot lines. This was only supposed to be about a fourth of the length it really ended up to be. But I kept expanding on the idea till it reached what its at now.

I'm also thinking about starting a multi-chapter story as well, maybe using this as sort of a base. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy, and I'd appreciate any comments!

I remember

When one conjures up an image of the teen titans rec room at 9pm in the evening, you can easily picture a couple of things.

Raven will be sitting down somewhere on the couch, attempting to enjoy a book from her wide variety she keeps stashed away in her room. Her eyes will glare over to the duo of boys in Cyborg and Beast Boy furiously mashing buttons on their gamestation controllers. Nine times out of ten, Cyborg will hold up his controller in sweet victory, earning threats of cheating from the green shape shifter, resulting in a heated argument.

Meanwhile, Starfire will have been sitting near the boys, eating a tamaranian specialty snack, or something most humans would find most appalling, like cupcakes and mustard. Most likely, she would attempt to calm the boys down and encourage a peaceful explanation.

And Robin, well, he's Robin. He'd probably be lounging there, or focusing on something important.

So this is a typical titan evening, but it didn't happen to be like this tonight. Sure, four out of the five titans were currently in the rec room, minus one changeling. Beast Boy surprisingly was in his room, his mind a hurricane of emotions and thoughts ranging from anger to pure confusion to shock.

Earlier in the day, they were fighting a huge white monster that had the ability to adapt itself to any material in its vicinity, whether it be cement or dirt. But out of the corner of his eye, Beast Boy checked to make sure people standing near the fighting area were okay, as he saw debris scattered about. But in this group of people, was a girl with long blond straight hair, and a facial structure identical in structure to someone he knew.

Terra.

He was so certain it was her, even if he didn't even talk to the girl. The realization that she might be alive after all this time was too good to let slip away, so he had to somehow find her.

So he looked everywhere and anywhere. He went through all the places they once shared together, but not one showed any promise. In fact, the majority of places seemed less lively when there on his own, and he knew that he couldn't look at the places the same, not without her.

It was near the Murakami School where he spotted her again. The shape shifter tried to talk to her, but however was met with disdain when she seemed to have no recollection of any of her history. However, a glimmer of hope appeared when she agreed to lunch with him, and more glimmers appeared when she even laughed at his corny jokes. The girl seemed to enjoy his form of humor, just like Terra used to.

He decided to bring her back to titan's tower, in hopes that something might trigger a response in her memory banks. The girl even stood in Terra's old room. But nothing seemed to resonate with her, even the heart shaped box that he had crafted for her didn't seem to ring a bell, although she did mention that the thought of that was cute.

His last shot came in the hallways of the school. He tried to reason with her, tried to remind her of Terra, but alas it just wasn't going to work. But it was one certain sentence that continued to resonate with him repeatedly that left her lips.

"_Things change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory."_

It was stereotypical nail in the coffin as far as he was concerned. All that time, Beast Boy held on to the smallest shreds of hope that somehow the old Terra he remembered was still hidden in this girl's mind. That one singular sentence all but shattered that element of hope, and he could see that all but microscopic glimmer disappear before his very eyes.

So here he was, lying on his bed, now cleaner after deciding to straighten up things, certainly something out of character for himself. But wasn't everything right now. Terra took a piece of his heart when she left, and until she comes back, she would always hold on to that piece.

What he still couldn't believe in full truth is how someone talked, smelled, looked, and even acted at points like the Terra he once knew, and still had no recollection of any of Terra's memories.

The changeling did not know how wrong he could possibly be however.

* * *

Part of my mind was confused. Confused at how someone could be so strikingly similar to someone I know, yet not be that person. And on top of that, how did she not remember any of her past life? How can somebody be a near carbon copy, yet not even have relation to said person.

Part of my mind was angry. Angry at how I was successfully able to move on after knowing that I lost her the first time, only to find someone who single-handedly erased all of that progress with just her appearance. Angry at also how I was able to still be so in love with her, even after all she's done.

Part of my mind was in doubt. Doubting that perhaps my own mind warped my vision of this girl into what I wanted to see, showing that I haven't even gotten over her after all this time. Doubting that maybe I was just delusional in all this.

But part of my mind was still in love with her. I wanted to find her and give her the kiss that we never got to have, thanks to a certain Slade. I wanted to hold her and tell her how much I loved her and how I could forgive what she did, because in the end she deserved it. I desperately just wanted to talk to her, tell her jokes while watching her laugh, make faces, have tickle fights her, lie on my back with her and count stars, I can go on and on. Point blank, I wanted to have her back in my life somehow.

To an extent, I do believe in fate and karma. Which also made me wonder why life decided to make the girl of my dreams vanish. Was it all the pranks I pulled on others over the years? Something else?

Suddenly I began to hear this sort of tapping on my window. I glanced over while still on my bed, but didn't see anything for the first few seconds. Then I noticed a small pebble hitting the window, making just enough of a _clank _for me to notice, since my room was pretty dang quiet with me just moping about.

Something was strange about this all though. I mean my room was pretty high up, how could anybody reach and be that accurate with a little object like a pebble?

So I jumped off my bed and walked over to see what it was about, and it hit me like a pile of bricks.

_Terra!_

Frantically, I flung the window open to see the geomancer balanced upon a duo of two rocks about the size of bowling balls. Her appearance had changed since I last saw her, and the clothes she wore did look similar to those of what Terra would wear.

It was the uncertainty of her smile which caught my eye.

"Mind if I come in Beast Boy?"

I didn't really know how to respond at the very moment, so I merely gestured towards the inside of my room. She hopped off the rocks she was on, and ducked through the window, taking a second almost to take my room. I don't remember ever taking her into my room, and for a second I was relieved to have finally cleaned my room for once.

"I swear, I could not have imagined your room this clean," she remarked, a grin etched on her face.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I went over and hugged her like she was the last person on earth. She didn't seem to mind one bit, as almost instantly she returned the favor, burying her head into my chest. I could make out some choked sobs, but I dismissed them as being happy sobs, wait, isn't that oxy… something? I don't remember, Raven mentioned it once.

But I don't think I ever wanted to let go, or do anything but hold her close.

One question lingered that I had to ask however.

"So you did remember, didn't you?"

Sadly, this resulted in Terra breaking the hug. I could easily make out the high level of uncertainty on her face as she seemed to think of an answer to my simple question.

"Gar… you might want to sit down…"

I don't remember her ever using my actual name before.

"To answer your first question… yes.

I remembered everything.

I remembered the day I was running from that giant scorpion. It was the same day in which I met you and the rest of the titans. You introduced yourself as Boy Beast, and I laughed.

I remember being in awe of the tower, and I remember falling asleep on a couch with my headphones on. Later I went outside to think, and you came out to join me. We made faces, and you found out I couldn't control my powers. I made you swear not to tell anyone.

I remember being given the honor of a titan by Robin, only for him to say that we could work on controlling my powers. I've figured out since then that he was just smart and could figure that out without you telling him.

I remember running away to join his worst enemy, Slade, thinking that if I got control it could solve all my problems.

I remember coming back and being so overjoyed to see you all again, especially you. That same day we also fought some worm like creature of Slade's. Oh yeah, and I had major disagreements with Raven.

I remember sharing my favorite pie with you, and going on that date at the carnival, which still is one of the radest days of my life."

Terra stopped for a second, but I could sense that she wanted to finish what she was saying, even if I could do it for her. And I already knew the rest of the story.

"I remember betraying you guys.

I remember fighting you especially, and punching you right in the face after stating I have no friends.

I remember Slade controlling me.

I remember almost ki… killing…"

I put my finger over her lips, closing them from continuing on.

You may wonder, even after betraying us, even almost ending my life, why I would forgive her without any regret. Yes, she may have been controlled by Slade, but Terra also had free will in making her decision. She chose to join him, and yes, maybe the rest was indirectly not her fault, but it could have been prevented.

I somehow could forget all about that. As I watched her nearly lose her composure she was trying so hard to keep, I realized that she was making my heart melt all over again.

Lighting does strike the same place twice, doesn't it?

Cautiously, I scooted over on my bed so I was closer to her, and put my arm around her. She didn't hesitate a bit, and nuzzled her head into my chest for the second time that night. Only this time I could hear her start to sob into the nightshirt I was wearing. This went on for a couple minutes, before the crying tapered off into a few occasional whimpers and sniffles. I pushed her up so she was facing me, assuming that she was okay by now.

We just sort of stared into one another's eyes, neither of us knowing what to say or how to say it.

"Terra… I forgave you a long time ago.."

To my surprise, Terra did the complete opposite of what I expected.

"…You …HOW?" She jumped off the bed and whirled around so a lock of her blonde hair was partially covering an eye.

"Weren't you listening?! I betrayed you! I took the trust you and your team instilled in me, and smashed it to pieces. I worked for your mortal enemy! I almost KILLED you!"

Again, my mouth refused to work with my brain, resulting in me sitting silently.

"You don't just forgive a person for that! Do you? I'm surprised you let me in here at all! I've never even been in your room before!" Terra was going hysterical at this point, yet I still couldn't make a move. If any of the other guys didn't know she was here, they sure did now.

"…I'm surprised you're even talking to me, heck, I'm Shocked you don't hate me for what I did."

There was a bit of silence as her eyes roamed the room and myself, before connecting with the floor.

"…You should have ended me when I asked you to."

That line, that one line out of everything she had just said to me, was the one that tore me to pieces. All my emotions were behind what I was going to say to her.

"Yes, I could have killed you off when I found you. But in reality what would that have done? Left me in emotional turmoil for the rest of my life!?

The point is… I didn't. I didn't kill you Terra. From what I see right now, you're causing more anguish to yourself than I could have gotten by killing you. You're blaming yourself for something that wasn't entirely your fault. And I don't even believe in killing someone, whether it be the most vile creature in the world or not.

Another thing, did you think that maybe we wouldn't hate you, even after what you did to us? In fact, I never hated you, EVER. Whether it was when you ran off, or when you punched me in the face, or even when you nearly killed me, I never hated you.

No, in fact, it was quite the opposite.

Terra… I love you."

I had closed my eyes for some reason while saying that. But when I opened them, it was clear that she wasn't in distress anymore, or in hysterics, confusion, sadness, or well, anything.

She looked at me with wide dinner plate sized eyes in disbelief.

"I loved you that very day you introduced yourself. I loved you when you ran away. I loved you when you came back, and I loved you when you turned sides. I still loved you, even when you nearly took my life!

And even now, I still love you."

Silence invaded the room, and as every second passed by, I could see Terra start to finally let her emotional guard down completely.

"…Okay…

…Okay..," she was choking on her words already, on the brink of sobbing again. I couldn't help but feel her pain inside.

"I don't know what you're trying to do here… but I've you're trying to break me, you've won," She stammered out, and I couldn't help but be extremely confused.

"I tried not to remember, you don't know how hard I tried not to remember. When I realized I was alive, I made a vow to never be a part of your lives again. After all the trouble and heartbreak I caused, why risk doing more damage?

Everything about my life was brand new. I enrolled in a school for the first time, and I made some new friends. I thought I successfully abandoned my past life.

Then, I saw you again.

And everything came back to me head on.

I remembered.

I remembered all of it, and my own body erupted into a civil war. My heart still wanted you, but my mind refused to want to cause you more annoyance.

And now, here I am, and you know what? I don't even know why I came!" Terra nearly screamed at me, but not in anger. Not at all. I could sense distress and anguish in her voice.

And a second later she broke.

Terra fell to the floor in hysterical crying fits. I couldn't bear to watch, but my eyes stayed on her the entire time. For the first time all night, I could feel my own tears swell up and roll down my own face as I watched what seemed like a lifetime of emotional pain and anguish expel from her.

I got up and pulled her in tight, stroking her silk like blonde locks, taking notice for the first time that she had her butterfly clip in her hair after all these times.

Terra continued to go on despite all this

"Beast Boy, I don't know what to do with myself anymore! I want to come back, but I don't know if I should. I, I'm just so sorry, for everything. I don't even know why I'm alive now. I just…"

I pulled her head up and kissed her. I'm not sure what my impulse to do that right then and there was, but it just felt like it fit at the time.

And it felt right.

So many settings for our first kiss popped into my mind when thinking about her, but if I were to say that one of them would be like this, I'd be dead wrong.

Nonetheless, it was everything I imagined and more.

We broke it eventually, since you know, we needed air to breathe.

For what seemed like ages, I just admired the pools of cerulean that were her eyes, wait, how did I know what cerulean was? Anyway, we just seemed to bask in each other's company, as we ended up falling back onto my bed, her head going back to lying upon my chest. I was tracing little circles in her hair, figuring out how I wanted to say what was on my mind.

I couldn't tell you how much I wanted Terra to stay, to never leave us again… to never leave me again.

But if I did that, it would just be selfish of me. Sure, I would do anything to stay, but in the end, staying would be entirely her decision, not mine.

"Terra, I just, waaa!"

She nearly pounced on me and crushed her lips against mine again, wanting an encore performance. I happily obliged, I mean how could I say no to someone I love?

We stayed kissing one another for what seemed like an eternity, each of us unwilling to let the other one go.

Finally parting, we both relaxed on my bed, breathing heavily as we caught our breath back. I decided to go with the question I was going to ask her.

"Terra listen to me."

Calmly, she lifted her chin up so her eyes met mine, and I continued.

"You don't have to come back here if you don't want to," left my mouth almost in a whisper. They were words that I thought I would never, ever say. But I had a different perspective of things now.

"But, don't you want me to stay?"

_YES. YES. 1000% YES_

"Of course I do. But that choice isn't mine, and convincing you to do something you aren't 100% about would be selfish of me."

For the first time, a genuine smile crept along her face. It had nothing to do with our romantic attraction to one another, but instead this was purely one of friendship. I could see in her face that Terra realized she had my trust in whatever she chose to do.

"Now I know you came here to tell me something. Go on, what was it?"

Her face held more confidence now as she began to explain what she originally came to see me for.

"To start, you don't know how difficult it was for me to hold back just how much I missed you and felt for you every time you came up to me. Every second we were in each other's company, I got closer and closer to spilling out everything, all the memories of that the girl you still loved. I don't think I was closer to telling you I was really who you thought I was until the day back at the tower…"

"… When I showed you what I had made for you," I completed for her. She nodded in agreement.

"And after the incident in the hall, I just had a change of heart. I thought about it for awhile, and I realized that keeping my real identity from you, would be as bad as lying to your face… which I already did."

She took a breath before continuing.

"So that's why I'm here now. I just had to come and tell you the truth, to see you one more time. I needed closure for what I did, otherwise, I think I would have went insane.

But even more important, I needed to give you peace of mind."

I can't tell you how many times silence has filled the room between us. But it did yet again, as I took in the very reason she came back. And no, I couldn't explain how surprised I was that she came back not for her own sake, but for mine. I was grateful for that.

"Well," she continued, "I guess I should leave now then. So… goodbye Beast Boy"

As she started going to the window, I couldn't help but grab her wrist, almost if by instinct rather than purpose.

"Terra… there's something you need to know."

She stopped and turned around on her own, a questioning expression on her face.

"For the longest time, I just wanted you to come back with us, with me, and I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of my pursuit of that. Only now do I realize my selfishness in doing that.

I just want you to know that whatever decision you make, whether it be to never come back here and never see me again, or to join us five again, don't do it for my sake. As long as I know you're safe, I'll be just fine with whatever you choose. Do whatever is most beneficial to you, what you would be most comfortable with.

It's your life… it's your choice. It's never too late to change."

Her expression froze for a second, as she seemed to recognize the last sentence I had just said. I pulled my titan communicator out of my pocket and placed it in her hand, and watched as slowly but surely her fingers closed around the yellow piece of technology.

"With this, you won't have to worry about me. If you ever need anything, no matter where you are, you know just how to reach me."

A tear fell from her cheek as she smiled to me.

"Thank you."

She embraced me one last time before turning back to the window, where her powers had brought up two more rocks in which to fly back on. As she had one leg out of my window, she turned back to me.

"I'll re-think on what my decision will be.

But most likely, I'll just follow my heart.

And I think you might be pleased with the results."

I couldn't help but beam as I watched her get into the two hovering stones.

"Goodbye Garfield," she said, and with that she rocketed away into the distance. I watched her shadow dance gracefully along the moonlit sky, one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

"Goodbye Tara."


End file.
